I used to believe that once I became a mom, I’d be a full-fledged adult. If I’m in charge of raising other human beings, I should be done growing up myself, right? Wrong. ⠀⠀ Apparently, life-long learning is a thing & some of us are slow learners… meaning we wrestle with the same bullshit over […]
How to be a Successful Parent Like Me
Many literary experts agree there are approximately seven plot lines in existence. Every story, no matter the setting, characters, climax, or resolution, is simply a variation of one of these seven main plots. One could argue this is true in parenting as well. The lessons which teach our children are all variations of a handful […]
Real Life Instagram Filter Names
I embraced turning 40. I felt stronger, happier, more content in my own skin than I had at any other point in my life. My marriage was strong, my friendships established. I had accepted my flaws and my pants size… Well, maybe not “accepted” my pants size. But I definitely worried about it much less […]
Time For Bed: A Monologue
Time for bed! I said, time for bed! I’m sorry you don’t want to, but it’s time. Please put your shoes and socks where they belong. Both shoes. All the socks. Well, they certainly aren’t mine. Go brush your teeth. Leave your brother alone. Don’t forget toothpaste. Stop touching your brother. Brush your teeth! […]
How to Parent Without Using Words
Men speak approximately 7,000 words per day.* Women speak approximately 20,000 words per day.* Mothers speak 2,846,325 words per day… ** and most of them are the same phrases repeated over and over and over. Put your backpack away pick up your shoes make your bed brush your teeth stop touching your brother don’t […]
Spike and I have come to a mutually beneficial agreement
I’m not quite sure if I should be flattered that so many of you have inquired about Spike in recent weeks or slightly affronted that you seem to care more about him than me…? But as the title states, Spike and I have recently come to a mutually beneficial agreement regarding our relationship. Well, he […]
Milestones that don’t make The Baby Book
This calendar was great because it made documenting stuff easier. Of course it also made me a total spaz as I wondered why my kid wasn’t doing many of them! (Never mind the fact that he was only 4 weeks old.) Childhood milestones are the highlight of early motherhood. For me, they were the proverbial pat […]
My kids are a couple of TALKBLOCKERS!
There’s a language that exists among mothers that desperately needs to be studied by both linguists and social archaeologists. I believe it could be the basis of a cultural revolution of epic proportions. Better yet, it is something the military should look into. Thousands of Special Ops Soldiers could become even more, er, special if […]
Street Smart vs. Book Smart
Sometimes I worry about my kids. I don’t mean “worry” in the traditional sense. It’s not so much the everyday worries like “There are evil people in the world” or “What if my kid gets sick or injured?” My worries aren’t based in any sort of fear of the unknown. Simply put my fear stems […]
