Silent Milestones

For someone like me, milestones were not always a source of pride.  They totally stressed me out.  It was that I worried my kids weren’t “on track.” I am a firm believer that most kids learn to do most thingsbefore they leave for college, so why worry? I saw a lot of weird stuff in college, but no one was still working on potty training or suffering from binky separation anxiety.  Any falling down or slurred speech I encountered wasn’t from deficient development.  Typically it was from over-efficient consumption of alcohol.

What caused me to worry as a Milestone Marking Mama was the fact that I completely missed when one occurred or I couldn’t determine the right answer to put in The Baby Book.  For example: First Time Baby Rolled Over. Technically, Luke rolled over at his first doctor’s appointment after leaving the hospital. Was he a gifted 1 week old? No. He was totally pissed because the nurse took his diaper off.  So do I put that on the line in the book? I don’t know! Is this a test? Do I have multiple choice options? Did they mean the first time he meant to roll over? What’s the right answer!?

Then there was the mess with Baby’s First Word.  Well who the heck knows what his first word was? His first sounds strung together that were word-like were Da-Da.  But he pointed to everything and called it Da-Da.  He even called our mailman Da-Da one afternoon. That wasn’t awkward at all. Is there a spot in The Baby Book for “Identified Incorrect Baby Daddy?”

Let’s not get started on the walking and crawling stuff.  First of all, crawling is such a progression that it’s hard to determine when exactly to give the kid the cred he deserves.  We had the getting up on the knees, the rocking back and forth, the army crawl and eventually the alternating hands and knees movement.  So which one is the “official crawl.”  Which freaking date do I write in the book?!?! Oh, and walking? Luke never walked.  He would stand and sort of do this half step thing until one day he grabbed hold of this push toy walking thing and ran right by me.  Literally, ran right by me while I was on the phone.  Now I have to get White Out and change “First Steps” to “First Sprint.”  It’s all too much, I tell you.

This isn’t my first post about Milestones. Some of them are standard such as walking and words.  Some are silly like the ones I’ve shared before here.  Others, however, are more subtle.  Maybe it’s my age or maybe it’s the exhaustion talking, but I’ve recently been struck by the Milestones that silently crept into my house.  These are the ones that mark major changes that have occurred,  in undetected and simple ways. These are the Silent Milestones.

Silent Milestones

1.   The day I realized there was not one Sippy Cup to be found in my home.  There is usually one lying around in the back of a drawer or tucked behind some dishes in the cabinet, right? It’s pesky valve collecting dust at the bottom of a drawer. At this point, however, I have officially cleaned house enough times that every Sippy Cup is gone- valves and all.

 

 

2.   My children are suddenly using real dishes.  Picnic wear and Toy Story plates are nowhere to be seen at mealtime.  I set 4 ceramic plates, 4 ceramic bowls and stainless forks and knives for everyone. Everyone is using real glass wear as well. (Please note, I rarely set the table but when I do this is what it looks like.)

 

 

3.   My oldest child is too big to eat off the Kids Menu. Not only does he order an adult portion, he finishes it.

 

 

4.   The day I was sorting laundry and realized both boys have gotten so big I can’t distinguish which socks and boxers belong to which kid. 

 

 

5.   The moment I realized I didn’t need to hang on to that old highchair or pack-n-play for a friend because there are no new babies on the way and there never will be because all of us have the families we’ve always wanted and officially “done.”

 

6.   The day it finally occurred to me it was time to throw out those old bath toys because no one has used the bathtub in over a year. It’s only showers for these big boys.  

 

 

7.   The first year there was not a single toy on the Christmas Lists.  Not one.  Football jerseys, Xbox games, books and iTunes cards.  Not one single trip to Toys R Us, nothing to assemble late in the night on Christmas Eve, not even a bike to hide for weeks on end.

 

These Silent Milestones don’t make me sad, per se.  I guess you could say they make me wistful and force me to take pause.  Although they signify the end of some things, they also represent the dawning of some new things- some great things.  I might not scrub heads in a bathtub any longer, but I do sit on the closed toilet lid and chat with the boys about school and friends and answer important questions while they wash their own hair.  I miss seeing Buzz Lightyear’s face smiling up at me from the plates in the sink, but it’s pretty cool that we sit around the table laughing and being silly while eating off our “real dishes.” And while I miss folding tiny boxers for Nate, I love that he is growing into himself- both physically and emotionally.  Every day he is less “Luke’s Brother” or “Our Youngest” and more Nate. That’s a beautiful thing. 

I scoffed when people told me, “You’ll miss this stuff in a few years. Time flies.” I’m still waiting for this supposed “flying time” of which “They” speak.  However, I can admit that “They” were right about one thing: I miss some of our “stuff.” And I’m glad that, although The Baby Book might not be 100% accurate, I can pull it out and enjoy remembering The Good ‘Ol Days when my kids were little.

Time isn’t flying, but it slowly sneaks by without me noticing at times.

That’s just my normal.