The Pursuit of Normal

Raising Two Kids While Still Growing Up Myself

Valentine’s Day in Photos: Courtesy of Spike

By 3 Comments

Upon returning home at 9:45 on Valentine’s Day Eve, we discovered this…

The utter destruction of a class set of NBA valentines meticulously assembled by Nate.

 

The lollipop and slobber-encrusted socks I included in the teachers’ Chinese take-out gift boxes.

 

The box carcass

 

The valentines stuck together by dog drool, excessive scotch tape and sticky wrappers.

 

Please note Spike’s ability to eat the lollipop and the wrapper while
leaving the stick attached to the valentine.
Clearly we are working with a professional here.

I will spare you the horrifying images of what I saw at Walmart at 10:15
when I went to buy new valentines for Nate.
Let’s just say I lasted approximately 4 minutes before I left and went to Vons
where I happily paid twice as much to avoid the crazies.
Too bad the Starbucks was already closed.
But the liquor aisle wasn’t…

 

The Fort Knox barricade Hubs built to keep Spike confined to our carpet-free downstairs last night.
Why did we keep him downstairs?
Because no one wants to be awoken at 2 a.m. by the sound of their dog heaving
 his guts and 17 lollipop wrappers.
The moment I finally lost my shnizzle and stormed downstairs because I could not listen to Spike pace and attempt to knock down the barricade so he could get to us upstairs…
and probably barf on my carpet.

 

The barricade I attempted to navigate in the dark at 3:06 a.m.
Thank God I’ve done yoga because this took some serious maneuvering to get around!
(I went over the railing- in case you were wondering.)

There should be a picture here of my iPhone reading 3:10 a.m.
This was the time I finally go back into bed after giving Spike a piece of my mind.
But I was too tired to take a screen shot. 

The Morning After:
The pathetic look of Guilt and Shame
Or maybe a lollipop hangover.
Spike’s replacements
No feeding necessary.
No shedding.
No pooping.
No bed-hogging.
No Valentine Massacring.
The Perfect Pet.

Anyone looking to adopt a dog? I might have one available immediately. Free.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
That’s just my normal.

Comments

  1. I think our dogs are facebook friends. Our Sophie does this shit ALL THE TIME. She’s 8 and totally knows better. Lately, she’s resorted to bringing poop-sicles back in with her. To eat. Like a darn treat. Talk about nasty dog breath. Awesome post. See ya in June at BlogU.

    Reply

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