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This one was titled: “Before Surgery & After Surgery” OK, that’s just kind of mean. |
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Beauty and the Beast. Um, I’m not real clear on who is who?
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Taylor Swift in high waist shorts |
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Me in high waist pants |
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The Biebster in drop crotch pants Still stupid looking, yet hip |
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Me in drop crotch pants. I just look like I took a dump in my pants. |
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Skinny jeans if I wore them after not eating for a month and was not actually me |
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Jeans with a zipper at the bottom AKA- Jeans that can’t be hemmed for the “petite in height but not in ass” |
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Flirty Capri pants AKA: Full length pants I don’t have to take to the tailor |
Oh wait, it gets better. I actually went to the mall last week. I’m pretty sure I heard the employees at the local Target writhing in pain over this. You know what I discovered at the mall? First of all, they have guys that give massages. How rad is that? I digress. You know what else they have? Stores filled with countless articles of clothing that I STILL can’t wear!!
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I’m pretty sure the fashionistas said “Dress FOR your shape” They did not say “Dress TO MATCH a shape” |
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Penalty! Flag on the play! 20 yard penalty for wearing ridiculously short shorts that look good on NO ONE other than a ref! |
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“I don’t care if your skulls are smiling, Mommy. It’s going to give me nightmares. Stop wearing that shirt.” |
It seems my days of trolling the mall for dudes and duds are over. Well, I’m pretty sure they never actually began. But I’m OK with it. I’ve had 38 years of Mike Jeffries telling me I don’t make the fashion cut. Sure I’d love to sport some skinny jeans and knee-high boots like 92% of the women I see at every concert I attend. But there are bigger things to worry about, so I can get over it.
Let’s not forget, I spend 15 hours a day in workout clothes anyway. And, although I’m no fashion expert, I can say with the utmost confidence that workout pants would look ridiculous with knee-high boots.
Besides, my husband thinks my ass looks fantastic in a pair of yoga pants. 😉 What more could a girl want?
I may not be able to walk the runway, but if there’s ever a need for a sudden Downward Dog, I’m totally prepared.
That’s just my normal.
Forget Jeffries and the stupid mall. Girl – you rawk those yoga pants like a boss!
I really think I should be the poster chlld for yoga pants, to be quite honest Tracy. I have worn them with a varitety of differnt work out shoes (running, cross trainers, chucks) in addition to flip flops (both formal and informal) and I’ve rocked them barefoot during hot yoga. Don’t even get me started on the yoga pant accessories I’ve mastered. I’m going to look into this.
V
This post is hilarious! Mr. Jeffries looks like that lady who did a bunch of plastic surgery to look like a cat. I think people call her Cat Woman or something (and tat’s original). Google it and you will definitely see a resemblance.
Honestly, I don’t give a hoot what he says. I’m rockin’ the yoga pants myself. I say, be who you are, dress how you want.
Thanks for the laughs.
Oh man I TOTALLY know who the Cat Lady is Julie. That lady is like a train wreck (or that Teen Mom show)- You just can’t stop staring! And you definitely rock the yoga pants!!
V
I remember seeing a blogger in the skulls thing. Yea I think sometimes everything I see on others that looks great on them it would look terrible on me. Or so that’s what I think.
as for the Mr. Jeffries thing. Hilarious and didnt realize how bad he looked til now. He looks worse than Kenny Rogers with a face lift. Wow. never understand why anyone wants to have that done.
I’ve never been to A&F and dont plan to now. he’s a freaking joke.
Girl dont get me started on hypocrites
Kenny Rogers with a face lift! hysterical!! I’ve been in an A&F twice I think. It’s ridiculously dark, the music is loud and it smells like a 13 year old boy’s been spraying too much Axe body spray. You’re not missing anything. trust me;)
V
That’s cute, Vicky. I have to say – there are only two stores that I buy clothes from anymore (with the rare exception): Ann Taylor Loft, and, wait for it, The Gap. I still find their jeans comfortable and flattering for the, uh, mature gal. This means my fashion sense hasn’t changed in, like, 15 years. Nothing like the status quo.
Oh I miss The Gap! I feel like I never go to the mall anymore and I haven’t been in The Gap in years!! And don’t feel bad, my fashion sense hasn’t changed much in a loooong time either;)
Vicky
Here’s another applicable Mom saying “If you don’t have anything nice to say. . . “
I laughed through so much more of this than most people because I totally get the petite thing, I’m also only 5 feet tall.
You’re 5 feet as well!?! I knew we were meant to be friends, Karen! Moms and their sayings, right?
V
OMG, you make me laugh, Vicky!!!! Those pictures are hilarious! And I’d say you’re pretty lucky you DON’T have to wear that crap!!!! Oh, and yoga pants DO make our asses look good. Or so I’ve been told. And since they don’t have buttons and are comfortable, I say we stick to those!
I think I’m going to be buried in yoga pants and a LuLu Lemon top I bought with a gift card because I’m too cheap to spend $60 on a top I’m going to sweat in. Buttons are waaaay over reated Dani;)
V
I am SURE you look fantastic in that pair of yoga pants–and you know I’m hanging out with you and cringing at all of the latest rad fashion. Snorting so much over the drop waist pants–you are killing it, lady!
Can you believe these drop crotch pants! What the heck is that about? Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment, Meredith.
Vicky