Who’s On First?

As a stay at home mom my day is often filled with errands, chores and other things to keep our house running smoothly and, to be honest, pass the hours. Below is an excerpt from a typical day. Sometimes I think I’m in an old episode of Abbot and Costello.

Cast:
DS1: my oldest son, 5 1/2
DS2: my youngest son, 3
NM: normal mom, me, 30 something:)
Setting: driving in the car to Target for the umpteenth time this week)

DS1 from the back seat: “Mom, who’s the clown from McDonald’s?:
NM: “Ronald McDonald.”
DS2: “Where’s Daddy?”
DS1: “Donald McDonald?”
NM: “Daddy’s at work. No, Ronald McDonald with and “r”.”
DS1: “Donald McRonald?”
NM: “No, Rrrronald McDonald. with an “r”. “
DS2: “Did Daddy take the black car?”
NM: “Yes, Daddy took the black car.”
Ds1: “Ronald McDonald? What’s 3+3+3+4+5?”
Ds2: “Are we in the blue car?”
NM: “Yes, Ronald McDonald. 18. Yes, we’re in the blue car.”
DS1: “No. I said, 3+3+3+3+4+5.”
DS2: “Is Daddy at work?”
NM: “21. Yes, Daddy is at work.”
DS1: “What time is it?
NM: “It’s 9:15.”
DS2: “What song is this?”
DS1: “No it’s not. It’s 9:13”
NM: “You’re right, it’s 9:13. It’s Linkin Park ‘Shadow of the Day’.”
DS1: “Mom, do you remember a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time ago when you said I could have gum? I never got it. Can I have it now?”
DS2: “I like this song. Do you like this song Mom?”
NM: “Yes I like this song. I don’t have any gum and it’s 9:13 in the morning. You’re not having gum.”
DS1: “Why didn’t you give me the gum that day when you said I could have it? Why can’t I have gum in the morning? You forgot to give me my vitamins this morning. Why do I have to have vitamins after breakfast? How do you spell breakfast?”
DS2: “Is Daddy at work?”
NM: “Yes, Daddy’s at work. Gum is like candy, it’s not for breakfast. Yes, I forgot to give you your vitamins. They give you strength to help fight colds. B-R-E-A-K-F-A-S-T”
DS2: “I like Linkin Park. Do you, Mom?”
DS1: “Now I’m gonna get sick. You really should remember to give me my vitamins.”
NM: “Yes, I like Linkin Park very much. Yes, I should remember to give you your vitamins. I failed you as a mother… again.” *hangs head in shame and defeat* We’re here!

THIS is my normal…