In a few hours the months of planning will come to fruition. You’ll be married. But this is only the beginning, beloved. Yes, yes. I’m aware that you realize this and you “know” what you’re getting into. On some level, you’re correct- everyone who has been in any sort of relationship knows how […]
Name 3 reasons your bed might squeak… besides sex
There is no shortage of cringe-worthy moments in my life. There was the time I was at a park with my parents and I turned to lovingly wrap my arms around my father with my tiny 3 foot body, only to look up and find the man on whose legs I was nuzzling with […]
I’m movin’ on up!
Welcome to the new and improved The Pursuit of Normal! See that GIANT yellow box in the right-hand margin, the one that says SUBSCRIBE —— > You need to go do that. Subscribe. Right Now. Enter your email address so you won’t ever miss one of my posts. I promise no junk mail. Only […]
Spike is the kid you don’t want your kid to play with
“Just because you can swim, does not mean I’m going to let you swim with sharks.” This was one #3 on my mother’s Top 5 Mom’isms list. It was her creative version of “I trust you. It’s the other kids I don’t trust.” My brother and I came to hate this particular phrase more […]
A Letter to Myself on the Eve of My Wedding
In a few hours the months of planning will come to fruition. You’ll be married. But this is only the beginning, beloved. Yes, yes. I’m aware that you realize this and you “know” what you’re getting into. On some level, you’re correct- everyone who has been in any sort of relationship knows how difficult […]
The road to hell is paved with guilt and YouTube videos
After careful examination I have determined that 63% of my parenting is motivated by guilt. I feel guilty about that. I have also discovered, though, that while guilt isn’t the healthiest of inspirations, it can sometimes lead me to a positive place. For example… “Ugh, I feel so guilty for feeding my kids donuts […]
5 Signs The Holiday Season is Upon Us
I think it’s safe to say that, although we have yet to celebrate an actual holiday, we are knee-deep in The Holiday Season. If you’ve missed the signs, here’s a recap: 1. Costco is selling a 10 foot stuffed bear and strategically placed it at the entrance of the store so my children can […]
All you need is love… sort of
I know she just wanted to help. I’m sure she could tell by my posture- back ramrod straight, shoulders drawn up so high they could be worn as earrings and the wicked bitch brow I was sporting- that we were most certainly not exchanging “I love you’s” in the grocery store parking lot. From the […]
This is pee-worthy
I have been forty for 19 days. In that time… I organized my home and kids so The Hubs and I (and Flat Stanley) could leave town for an entire week… 7 backpacks just to organize the boys’ school and sports paraphernalia Meanwhile I pack my shit like an efficient boss! I spent 6 […]
10 Things I will have absolutely no trouble doing while traveling to Scotland
According to my children, I have no business traveling. Luke feels my definition of a “fun time in Scotland” is found lacking. According to Nate, I have no business going to Scotland because I “don’t speak Scotland.” *setting* The kitchen table Tuesday morning… Luke: Mom, what are you most excited about doing on your […]
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