How to be a Successful Parent Like Me

Many literary experts agree there are approximately seven plot lines in existence. Every story, no matter the setting, characters, climax, or resolution, is simply a variation of one of these seven main plots.

One could argue this is true in parenting as well. The lessons which teach our children are all variations of a handful of basic lessons:

~Take care of your things (“Pick up your crap and put it away!”)

~ Share (“You’ve had it for an hour! Give your brother a turn!”)

~Be accountable for your actions & words (“I don’t care who started it!”)

~Find contentment (“I don’t care if there’s a new version available!”)

~Stop asking me for a snack 27 minutes after I just fed you (No example needed.)

In a perfect world, the seemingly infinite variations and repetition of these precepts would change our behavior, make us wiser. We learn quickly, though, that our world is far from perfect; and at the end of the day, the best we can hope for is to be marginally less stupid than when we began.

My own home is an excellent example. One would think that being asked to clean up after themselves for literally 90% of their lives, my children would have mastered this task by now, right? And yet… Here I am, still traversing abandoned socks and discarded backpacks.

However, I would be remiss if I didn’t take a hard look at my own failure to learn. After spending almost 90% of my life trying every diet on the market with little to no impact on the size of my ass, one would expect that I’d accept that healthy eating and consistent exercise is the only way to get results.  And yet… Here I am skipping breakfast and shoving cheese sticks in my face for lunch.

But do not despair, my fellow moms and poor eaters! I am here today to tell you that while you might feel like you’re sentenced to a life of picking up dirty clothes and squeezing your ass into ill-fitted jeans, there is still hope! Progress can be made!

Look how far our family has come…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Success is in your reach, parents.

It’s all about lowering your expectations setting reasonable goals.

That’s just my normal.