According to my children, I have no business traveling. Luke feels my definition of a “fun time in Scotland” is found lacking. According to Nate, I have no business going to Scotland because I “don’t speak Scotland.”
*setting* The kitchen table Tuesday morning…
Luke: Mom, what are you most excited about doing on your trip?
Me: The plane ride.
Luke: Well that’s sad. You’re going to hurt Dad’s feelings.
Me: Why? He’ll be sitting next to me.
Luke: Well, is there anything not lame or boring that you’re excited about?
Me: I’d like to see a movie while we’re there.
Nate: A movie? You don’t even speak Scotland!
Well, darling sons of mine… I may not meet to your “fun vacation” standards and my “Scotland” is quite rusty, but that sure as heck isn’t stopping me from going there TODAY!
And while I might have a bit of trouble understanding the locals at times, let me tell you
10 Things I will Have Absolutely No Trouble Doing
While Your Dad & I Are in Scotland
1. Sleeping in
2. Sleeping naked
3. Sampling whiskey
4. Wearing real clothes. Not yoga pants. Not my running shoes. No jog bra.
We’re talking actual clothing purchased somewhere other than the Active Wear department, intentionally put together in order to form what some might call “an outfit.”
5. Feeding no one other than myself- what I want, when I want
6. Sampling whiskey (Did I mention that one already?)
7. Doing absolutely nothing for 11 blissful hours, armed with some snacks, a few books and some good music.
8. Abstaining from all school projects, carpools & lunch making, as well as football, water polo and soccer practice
9. Allowing Grandma and Grandpa the privilege of repeatedly asking 2 small human beings to brush their teeth
10. Picking up after no one other than myself
I will certainly miss you, my sweet boys. I love you truly madly deeply and I am blessed to be your mama.
But for the next 7 days I will be a wife, a woman, an explorer of foreign lands, a rider of public transportation, a sampler of new and exciting foods, a silly tourist taking excessive pictures, extremely well rested, even more in love with your father and (God willing) a bit tipsy from my whiskey tours.
For those of you who will have some trouble while my husband & I are in Scotland (Don’t be embarrassed) you can check out the shenanigans that are sure to ensue when a husband and wife attempt to navigate a foreign country, by going to the blog’s Facebook page: ThePursuitOfNormal
Of course most of you already follow me there, right? Right? Well where the hell have you been?
You think I’m brilliant here? You should see the intellectual gymnastics I perform over there!
I’m about to spend 6 nights and 7 days without my kids.
That’s NOT my normal.