6 Things I Learned This Summer

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13 days. Thirteen days.  Thir.teen.days.  Say it with me people, “13 days!” My children go back to school in 13 days.  If you want to get really specific, you can look at it this way: Tomorrow’s Thursday already and the week they go back to school on a Wednesday.  So technically speaking, I only have one more FULL week to fill.  One week.  5 days.  I can totally do this.

Don’t worry, this isn’t another post about why I’m ready for summer to be over. I’ve already done that for you.  I would like to report, however, that I was pleased to learn that I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Before you slap the scarlet letters BM on me (No, not that BM, this one stands for Bad Mom- geesh!) Keep in mind a couple of things.  First, we’ve been out of school for 59 days already.  Fif-ty-nine. That’s a lot of day.  The second reason I should not be strung up by my giant Mommy purse is that in all honesty, I might be just an eensy teensy bit sad about my kids going back to school.  No really! I am!

Although I haven’t peed alone in 59 long days and I’ve prepared enough meals and snacks to feed the entire of continent of China, there are some things I will miss when the cherubs return to school.  First, it will no longer be socially acceptable for me to lay on the couch and watch DisneyXD. No more “Austin and Ally”.  Sayonara, “Kickn’ It.” And “Phineas and Ferb”… Well, OK, I’ll probably still have that on in the background while I’m working.

Secondly, I will miss working at my desk while the kids play boardgames at my feet.  And just so we’re clear, I mean literally. at. my. feet.  Our first fun summer activity once school was out was a trip to Target to buy a desk for me to use for work.  I know, I know, I’m like the funnest mom ever, right? My goal was to move my work area up to our loft to give the kids free reign of the house.  Working at the kitchen table was going to do nothing but drive me insane and bring them along with me.  The second fun summer activity was putting the desk together.  Hey, I let them use a power screwdriver! Who says I’m not fun? Interestingly enough, immediately upon finishing the desk and setting up my work space, my children pulled out Battleship and began playing next to me.  In fact, one of them was actually leaning on my leg while sinking his brother’s battleship.

I will also miss the creative activities my children come up with when all screens are turned off for the day.  Whimsical games of “lay on top of each other” and “poke one another until someone finally screams STOP IT!” are really my two favorites.  Although, laying on the floor of the loft and asking me an endless supply of questions is a close third.

Overall, the summer really wasn’t bad.  Despite working triple the hours I did last summer while enrolling the kids in fewer camps than normal (I really am not very bright.) and my inability to poop without someone standing outside the door asking for a snack, it wasn’t half bad.  In fact, if I were being honest, I would say that this summer was quite educational.

What I Learned This Summer
1. My children may not be able to hear me when I’m standing 3 feet in front of them and asking them to put away their laundry; however, they can  hear a piece of gum or candy being unwrapped within a 3 mile radius and ask if they can have it before the wrapper is completely removed.

2. The minute I turn up the radio in the car, someone suddenly has something they have to say no matter how long they have been silent up until that moment.

3. My son can say the following, actually believe it makes sense and stare at me incredulously when I’m confused: “Can I be excused? I am so full. I ate so much. I’m not really that full.  I’m kind of hungry. Can I have a snack?” In this situation I’m not quite sure which personality to address so I go with the one that means the least amount of work for me.

4. My oldest son can ace 3 digit multiplication, blow throw division and finish a 500+ page book in 2.5 weeks, yet to this day he can not figure out how to close any drawer he opens, put his shoes in the basket or put a dish in the sink without being reminded.

5. For two children who talk excessively, they really need to work on their communication skills.
Nate: Look over there.
Luke: Where?
Nate: There.
Luke: Where?
Nate: There.
Luke: Where? Where is “there?”
Nate: Over there.
Me: Oh my gosh would one of you please use a few more adjectives for the love of all that is holy!

6. It does not matter how often or how much I feed these children- they are always hungry.  Always… Unless, of course,  it’s mealtime.  Then suddenly they are only a little hungry and want to leave the table.

This summer definitely wasn’t one of our best- I’m just being honest.  Aside from our family vacation, these 59 days lacked the usual beach fun and adventures with friends that typically fill June, July and August.  But that’s just life, I guess.  And it’s OK, we survived and if you ask my kids they’ll tell you they had a great summer! It’s interesting how positive and enthusiastic they are about most things considering they were raised in a home where sarcasm was the first language.

But where it was lacking in summertime funtime, these months certainly made up for in education.  I for one learned a whole lot about my kids by spending every waking moment with them for the last 59 days.  It was like my very own summer school.

All together now, “13 days!”
That’s just my normal.

And just because I still think Staples made the best back to school commercials ever… And Alice Cooper with a kid is pretty funny.