There is one Mom Responsibility, however, that I will never ever embrace: Cooking. I’ve tried. I’ve really really tried. But I have finally accepted the fact that I do not, nor will I ever like cooking. In fact, one might say I actually hate cooking.
And I hate it for 6 very reasonable reasons.
1. Nothing you are expected to do 3-5 times a day, 7 days a week is pleasant. I don’t care if you’re offering up sex or chocolate- 3-5 times a day, 7 days a week makes even the sweetest love and the sweetest morsel a chore.
2. Cooking requires food. Having food requires I go to the grocery store. Going to the grocery store is never convenient. I can go during the day while the children are at school but that requires planning of epic proportions to find the time between client phone calls, work emails, doing the laundry and volunteering at school. Of course I could always go in the afternoon when the children are out of school. But the children are out of school. This means they would go with me. To the grocery store. Nothing good comes from bringing my children to the grocery store. Unless you consider saying, “No, we aren’t going to buy that” 43 times a “good” thing. I won’t even get into self- amputating my fingers so I can bring all the bags into the house in one trip or the fact that in order to put this newly acquired food away, I have to empty the refrigerator of the remains from my last trip to the grocery store.
3. “Cooking” is misleading. It fails to include “planning” and “prepping”. No matter how simple the recipe, there are always multiple steps, ingredients and tools necessary. And without fail, as soon as everything is washed, diced,chopped, salted and ready to be dropped into a perfectly heated pan… one of the children will undoubtedly need help with homework, have a question that needs to be addressed immediately, or is suddenly “not hungry”.
4. After the prepping and the cooking, comes the eating. Actual ingestion of the meal you prepared is like reading an exciting mystery. How will it end? Will everyone be pleasantly satisfied? Will there be cajoling and convincing that they will like it I’d they’d just take a bite? Will the entire meal be buried in Parmesan cheese? Or will it be a 3 Bite Night: 1-2-3 “I’m full! Can I have dessert?”
5. Clean-Up. There’s always clean-up. No amount of satisfaction for a healthy meal created or culinary accomplishment makes up for the amount of clean-up waiting for me as soon as everyone has vacated their seats and disappeared from sight. In fact, I would say the ratio of culinary satisfaction to prep time, bite- convincing and clean up is approximately 1:eleventy billion.
6. Left Overs. Considering the amount of time it took me to shop for, prep, cook, cajole and clean-up do you honestly think I want to see any part of this meal again? I didn’t think so.
I tell my kids on a regular basis, “Life isn’t fair. You may not like it, but you’re going to have to live with it so do so with a smile.” When it comes to cooking for my family, it looks like I’m going to have to eat my words.
That’s just my normal.
I just spent four hours grocery shopping on a shoestring budget for two weeks worth of food. I so relate to this. Can I get an amen????
Amen Sarah! Grocery shopping sucks!!
V
AMEN, SISTER!!! I hate cooking, too! The funny thing is, before my husband and I had kids, I often got home from work later than he did, so he did all of the cooking, and I cleaned up after. It was a great set-up because he enjoys cooking. But now all of a sudden I do all of the cooking. Every damned day. And I hate it. And since no one is offering to take over cooking duties on weekends, I just make the same things over and over and over. We eat a lot of grilled chicken salads. HA!
Too funny! I love this post! AMEN!
I hate cooking too, and all the goes with it, except the eating part. I do love eating the food I make!
I have to admit that I LOVE to cook, but I absolutely ABHOR going to the grocery store with every fiber of my being. Also? I hate the cleanup. HATE HATE HATE. So I don’t do it.
Thank goodness my husband doesn’t mind cleaning the kitchen, but I guess if he wants me to prepare nice meals for him, that’s his job 🙂
Um. I don’t hate cooking because I don’t. SAH does all the cooking. Is this the part where I say “I’m sorry” or “Nanner-Nanner”?
I’m trying to learn to love cooking, but it isn’t going so well. I’m with you on the clean up part.
The rule in our house used to be whoever doesn’t cook, cleans. But if my boyfriend continued cooking, we all would have died, so once it became me cooking every day, it was also me cleaning every day because heaven forbid he have to clean something EVERY DAY.
Vicky! I totally completely advocate your cause and this post! yup, I hate cooking! It is misleading too when they say ‘cooking’ because like you said, it involves numerous other steps like, prepping and all that crap. I didn’t know a thing about cooking when I was single. I never set foot in the kitchen except to eat on time. Now that I am married and stuck with 3 kids (including my husband, that is) I am forced to do ‘cooking’. But I am free to hate it, right? 🙂
I actually like the cooking but boy, do I hate the clean-up! I hate doing the dishes! That said, you do have very valid reasons for hating the whole cooking thing. I would too if I had so many mouths to feed (and satisfy)!
All of these are so right on!! And exactly why I hate cooking as well. With four little kids and a husband with Celiac disease, I often play short-order cook to please everyone. It’s maddening!
I could have written this post!! Give me toilets to clean, floors to mop, laundry to fold. But PLEASE don’t make me cook. HATE it with every fiber of my being. Spending all that time preparing and cooking and the guys are done in 10 seconds…only to ask if we have corndogs 30 minutes later? Ugh!!
Cooking sucks beyond the normal capacity to suck.
I used to love the occasional new recipe try out cooking as a kid. But, now i hate it. The whole human existence seems to revolve around three square meals a day! And boy! The three time clean up! U get more time to focus on ur kids upbringing and the kitchen remains spotless the day u dont cook!
Exactly, Syed!!
V
Oh my God ! It’s so refreshing to find other people who say : “I hate cooking!”. Everytime I’m saying that, people are looking at me like I’m an alien! For me, cooking is a very annoying choir with his twisted sister “going to the grocery store”… I think cleaning is less annoying.
When I’m not being the queen of defrosting or ordering take-out, I cook extra simple meals (veggie soups, rice/quinoa/beans, fish/chicken cooked in the oven) on Sunday and micro-wave them throughout the week.
Thanks, Alison. Here’s the funny thing… When I originally wrote this post almost 5 years ago, my kids were so young that mealtime was HELL!! Five years later… It has mildly improved. And “mildly” is a positive outlook 🙂 Haha! You are so smart to cook on Sundays. I wish i could create that habit. Believe me, I’ve tried. I will see, however, that I have gotten better about planning for the week on Sunday. I pick 2-4 recipes from one of my favorite cookbooks and get them on the calendar. Then I go to the grocery store Sunday afternoon or Monday morning. That has helped soooo much. Unfortunately, the “love of cooking” has yet to come. I assume that at 42’ish, it’s a lost cause 🙂
Thanks for the comment! It’s always nice to know I’m normal!
Vicky
I deeply relate to this. I found this post just now when I started googling the psychological causes and implications of hating cooking. I don’t even have kids so I can’t imagine that world, I just got tired of cooking for myself. I’m almost 32 and I’ve had to cook for myself since college because of celiac disease and a lack of money, and I’m just over it. Luckily my wife has gotten more into it to keep herself busy during quarantine, but I feel bad about not wanting to help. If it was just me I could live on rice and beans at this point because I just don’t want to prepare things and stand around keeping an eye on it.