Does this person look familiar? If you are between the ages of 32 and 45, she should look very familiar. This is Janice from the Muppet Show. Janice was awesome. And if you have 5 minutes to waste on pointless and inconsequential stuff, Google her. You would not believe what comes up. For those of you who don’t know, Janice played lead guitar for the Electric Mayhem on the Muppet Show as well as playing Nurse Janice in Veterinarian’s Hospital. Janice was a crack up. She was one of the early Valley Girls and participated in intellectual conversations by injecting a “Fer sure” whenever possible. In addition to being what I believe was a complete Muppet stoner, she was famous for her ridiculously blond and freakishly straw-like straight hair. And for the first 7 days after my blow out, I looked just like her. My hair was stick straight and pretty much glued to my head. It looked like an oil spill of catastrophic proportions occurred on top of my head until the chemical relaxed a bit and I got a some of the body back. But none of the curl or frizz, mind you.
But it is not simply my hair, or lack thereof, that makes me a true Brazilian by nature. No, there are many other traits I share with my South American sisters. First, coffee is one of the largest exports to leave its boarders. And as many of you know, I love coffee. Like looooooove it. Two, Brazil is also known for its exportation of shoes. I like shoes. I’m sure I have several pairs of shoes that originated from Brazil if I looked hard enough. The predominate religion is Roman Catholicism and I was baptised, raised and confirmed in the Catholic Church. See? The similarities are eerie, aren’t they? It’s like I was born to be Brazilian but somehow came out Italian, German and Syrian. The people of Brazil enjoy football- or soccer as you Americans call it. I played soccer for two years when I was 7 and 8. They also enjoy Capoeira and Jiu-Jitsu. I have a friend who has a friend who is totally into Capoeira and I loved that scene from “Ocean’s Twelve” when the guy was doing it to avoid a laser security system in order to steal something. And the Crossfit Box I used to attend had a Jiu-Jitsu studio attached.
The similarities are endless. And today, on this aniversario (anniversary for you native English speakers) I felt it was important to share my new found patriotism, my love of my homeland. It is time for me to truly embrace who I was meant to be, who I have become.
And we will certainly overlook the fact that Brazilian women are also known for their fantastic bodies, tanned, flawless skin and bodacious booties. You do NOT want to know the images that came up with I googled that one. Trust me.
Feliz Aniversario, minha virilha!
Isso e so o meu normal.