Confessions…

The reason I began this blog in the first place was my search to feel a little more normal and to, hopefully, help some other people feel normal as well. I’ve always felt that there is nothing more terrifying than believing I’m the only one thinking or feeling something. So… in an effort to bring me a little further along in my pursuit of normal, I’ve decided to start a new “Confessions” portion of my blog. This is an opportunity for me to just say it- the things I think and feel and I PRAY someone else might just share them so I can feel a little more normal.

Before I begin, however, there are a few ground rules.

1) I will NEVER confess anything that will hurt my family or friends.
2) I will try to be as honest as I can be.
3) You, my loyal readers (all 3 of you) can laugh along with me and at me.
4) If I’m taking the risk to be honest, you can NOT make fun of me or EVER bring up my
confessions in public. Some of them are pretty lame and I’d die of embarrassment.
5) You can ALWAYS confess your own in a comment.

So…. let the honesty begin!

1) I have an absolute 100% obsession with all things Twilight. Yes, those are the young adult novels to which I often refer. Yes, I know I’m a grown woman. Yes, I know these books were written for teens. And yes, I know that aren’t even really that well-written. Those things being said, I love it anyway.

2) I spend several hours a day (when my children are asleep) reading funny Twilight blogs and websites. And I have never laughed harder in my life than I have since I found them.

3) My children aren’t always asleep when I’m reading said blogs and sites.

4) I have a ridiculous, age-inappropriate celeb-crush on the actor from the movie, Robert Pattinson. Yes, I know he’s like 12 years younger than me. Yes, I know like a million other people do as well. Yes, I know the character he plays is fictional. But I got it bad, ladies. This is worse than the 21 Jumpstreet Johnny Depp and the Dirty Dancing Patrick Swayze phases. If I had a locker, RPatts’ picture would be ALL OVER it. And he’d be in the clear cover of my binder as well.

5) My thoughts constantly digress to Twilight-related things- quotes from the book, interviews I’ve read, funny pictures that were recently posted. While you are struggling with how hard it is to be a mom, I’m thinking how hard it must be a vampire who drinks animal blood instead of human blood- now there’s true sacrifice. You’re wondering how you’re going to afford to buy groceries in this current economic crisis. I’m wondering how I’m going to make it until November when “New Moon” will be released. You’re embarrassed about something your child said in a room full of people. I’m wondering if KStew is dying of embarrassment for dropping her MTV Movie award on the floor during her acceptance speech. Recently I met HG for a drink and with a completely straight face, spoke of an interview I read with Robert Pattinson as if that were a normal and grown up thing to be discussing over a martini. I think I even referred to him as Rob, as if we are friends. The good friend that she is, she just nodded and smiled. (Now I’m thinking I wish I had Edward’s ability to read minds to see if she thinks I’m a complete freak!)

6) It has been brought to my attention that I actually like all things vampiric. (Not sure if that word exists, but “it does in my world.” That’s a quote from the movie, by the way.) It all started with Buffy the Vampire Slayer about 2 1/2 years ago. I also like True Blood- another vampire show on HBO. (Shout out to MC for bringing this to my attention. I believe her quote was “If it’s got vampires or demons, Vicky’s all over it.”)

7) I absolutely LOATHE making dinner. I hate it. I feel no pride or joy in providing a healthy meal for my family at 6:00 at night. In fact, it is completely the last thing I want to do at that time of day. And the dishes suck too. Then there’s the whole “I don’t like this” thing. (See previous post entitled “Ode to the Trader Joe’s Sample Lady”) If I could bribe my kids to keep quiet, I’d feed them PB&J every night.

8) I am paying a ridiculous amount of tuition for private school rather than sending my son to the award-winning public school in our neighborhood because the private school has full day kindergarten instead of a measly 3.5 hours and I am REALLY ready for him to be at school all day.

9) The following statements make me want to stick a fork in my eye or run away from home: “Mom, watch.” and “Will you play with me?” and “You never play with me.” (said with a skin-crawlingly whiny voice, or course.)

This is just the tip of the iceberg, friends;
and this is just my normal…